I have been on a hiatus…from writing, from training for a marathon, from pushing myself to do something impossible, from creating new recipes, from engaging….and that has not necessarily been a bad thing. Any coach will tell you that recovery is an important part of training, finding balance in one’s life is valid, and spending time preparing so that you can push yourself again is worthwhile.
One year ago, I decided that I was going to do something that I imagined would be impossible in 2014 – I wanted to have a big, hairy audacious goal, something that was so incredible, that I didn’t even know how to visualize in January. My goal was to run a half marathon. As a non-runner, this was huge for me! I had no idea where to start, and I felt completely out of my league….and then in May, I did it. I ran 13.1 miles without stopping. After I caught my breath while I was wandering around the finishing area, it occurred to me that it wasn’t even half way through 2014, and I’d already done what I’d set out to do for the whole year. My “impossible” goal was not so impossible after all. I decided I needed to step up my game and come up with something a little more challenging. So I signed up to run a full marathon.
When I crossed the finish line after 26.2 miles three months later, I was spent – physically, mentally, emotionally….I FELT like I had accomplished something impossible this time. There was nothing left to give – I’d given it everything I had. I was proud, I was humbled, I was exhausted, I was injured, and I was done. I knew in my heart that I had done something that one year before would have been impossible for me.
It was time to rest and recover. I allowed myself that time, and gave myself grace so that I could fill up my mind, my soul, and my body again. I stopped running to let my piriformis heal. I refocused my physical energy into yoga for balance. I gave myself time to read books I’d set aside. I stopped challenging myself to blog on a regular basis. I had a personal retreat in the Pacific Northwest among the trees and near the ocean to fill my soul.
In the last several months, I have reflected on “Impossible” a great deal. I don’t think “Impossible” is something that I want to tackle anymore, not because I am scared to face something, someone, or some idea, but because I have realized that if I start by thinking it’s impossible, I’m starting at a deficit. If I learned anything in the last twelve months, it was that I am capable of so much more than I can imagine right now. I want to keep living up to that potential. I want 2015 to be the year of becoming more of who I am. Because if that is my focus, anything is possible.
Goals are still good. Specific targets are good. Struggling to achieve something is good….But hiatus is over. It’s time to stop sitting on the bench. It’s time to stop just watching. It’s time to get back into the arena.